The obituary of JAWS

What if film characters had obituaries…

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Dateline New England:
by Rhett Bartlett.

RELIEF ON ISLAND AS ELUSIVE SHARK IS KILLED.

The great white shark that had been terrorising the resort town of Amity Island, was killed today by the town’s police chief and an oceanographer.  A third man, Quint – a former war veteran who survived the USS Indianapolis sinking in 1945, was eaten alive.

‘Jaws’ , as the shark was referred to by residents, had been responsible for at least five human deaths, and 1 animal death, spanning the Fourth of July celebrations.

Its killing comes as great relief to the residents of Amity Island, whose beach was on the verge of total closure at the height of celebrations which included the 50th Annual Regatta.

A bounty of $3000 to kill the shark was offered by Mrs Kinter, whose son was the second known victim.   The 3 men who took up the offer tracked the shark in a vessel called ‘The Orca’.

It was reported that Jaws’ death came after a pressurised scuba tank was ignited by gunshot whilst in the shark’s mouth.  Police chief Martin Brody later confirmed the rifle used had belonged to Quint.

Both Brody and oceanographer Matt Hooper made it safely back to shore and required minimal treatment.   The beach has now been reopened.   Meanwhile police are still searching for witnesses to the vandalising of the Amity Island billboard.
Anyone with information are urged to contact Amity Island Police, or Mayor Vaughn’s office.

SpielbergAmity

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