‘The Avengers’ is a failure.

The overlong, stale experience barely raises a fast pulse, as the movie quickly stumbles into a standard film structure and doesn’t even try to break free.

What ‘The Avengers’ missed was an opportunity to define the structure of a Superhero film.  Intriguing side stories between each hero played out like a first draft no one bothered to check.  On three occasions I pre-empted dialogue that was about to be spoken.  The character’s lines were delivered with as much intensity as a wet match.  And the money shot that people would have been waiting for – all the Superheroes assembled in the one panning vista – was underwhelming. So underwhelming.

You can draw the plot and execution of ‘The Avengers’ on a postage stamp.  Introduce characters. Internal conflict. Bandy together. Fight.

The ending, with the MacGuffin and Loki, felt rushed. Attempts of emotional moments fell flat, and I didn’t care at all if The Avengers conquered evil or finally stopped bickering amongst themselves.  Throwing in a few sneaky one-liners or one-punch jokes (literally), doesn’t elevate a film into some glorious cinema experience.

Of all the moments, only the appearance of The Hulk  (ably portrayed by Mark Ruffalo) and his subsequent storyline arc was of partial interest.   Perhaps Hollywood will finally do a just adaptation of the angry man.

But what I think of the film won’t change one iota how much money it makes.  But I can’t stand back and have a Twitter stream full of positive reviews without raising my hand, without being a dissenter, trying to convince people not to fall for the shiny packaging.

Score: 1 star