‘The Avengers’ review. 1 star

‘The Avengers’ is a failure.

The overlong, stale experience barely raises a fast pulse, as the movie quickly stumbles into a standard film structure and doesn’t even try to break free.

What ‘The Avengers’ missed was an opportunity to define the structure of a Superhero film.  Intriguing side stories between each hero played out like a first draft no one bothered to check.  On three occasions I pre-empted dialogue that was about to be spoken.  The character’s lines were delivered with as much intensity as a wet match.  And the money shot that people would have been waiting for – all the Superheroes assembled in the one panning vista – was underwhelming. So underwhelming.

You can draw the plot and execution of ‘The Avengers’ on a postage stamp.  Introduce characters. Internal conflict. Bandy together. Fight.

The ending, with the MacGuffin and Loki, felt rushed. Attempts of emotional moments fell flat, and I didn’t care at all if The Avengers conquered evil or finally stopped bickering amongst themselves.  Throwing in a few sneaky one-liners or one-punch jokes (literally), doesn’t elevate a film into some glorious cinema experience.

Of all the moments, only the appearance of The Hulk  (ably portrayed by Mark Ruffalo) and his subsequent storyline arc was of partial interest.   Perhaps Hollywood will finally do a just adaptation of the angry man.

But what I think of the film won’t change one iota how much money it makes.  But I can’t stand back and have a Twitter stream full of positive reviews without raising my hand, without being a dissenter, trying to convince people not to fall for the shiny packaging.

Score: 1 star

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16 thoughts on “‘The Avengers’ review. 1 star

  1. MacGuffin? The point of a MacGuffin is that it’s not actually important to the plot. Yes, it was an object that both sides wanted, but when the bad guys got it, they used it to summon an army of space invaders. Not only is it plot relevant, it causes big fight scene at the end.

    I fail to see what the point of this review is. You can boil down any movie down to four plot points if you, for some reason, choose not to acknowledge the rest of the movie.

  2. 1 out of 5 for AVENGERS, come on now get real. Yes, everyone is not going to like something, i understand that. That being said i have not seen one review this low by any film critic, which leads me to believe that you have some kind of personal agenda against this film. There’s no way you seen this film and thought it deserved just one star, stop lying clown. You obviously gave this review to get attention since no one even knows who you are.

  3. Im glad someone saw this movie for what it really was. Whomever wrote the plot fOr this movie doesn’t deserve a cent for their efforts. A few one liners and flashy graphics doesn’t make up for the lack of interesting development in characters and plot. This movie does not deserve to be so highly regarded. If people continue to demand this rubbish it’s all we are ever going to get from big budget action thrillers.

    Tony stark kept this movie from being completely uninteresting. There was never any true preil as they are all pretty much invincible. Why introduce a giant horrific, other worldly beast just to have the hulk slap it around like it’s nothing?

    Riding the success of a truly imaginative group of comic book heros only to waste the opportunity to make a great movie. Makes me sick to think this is considered to be successful cinema.

  4. This was quite possibley the dumbest movie I have ever seen. The dialog was a joke as was the plot and acting. Just formulaic, Big-Budget, Hollywood Studio, “Popcorn movie” inspried trash. Please, I be of all of you- If you are over eleven years old, and have an IQ above 105, avoid this film like the plague.

  5. I highly respect and congratulate the person who authored this online review. One of the rare critics who had the cajones and common sense to call out this p.o.s. film. You were not afraid to state “The Emperor Has No Clothes.” You have proved yourself more adept at criticism than 95% of other so called “film critics.”

  6. fred says:
    “1 out of 5 for AVENGERS, come on now get real.”

    I agree, I would have given it 2 Stars out of 5. If it had been a “1″ I would have walked out, and not wasted 2 hours and 20 minutes of my life. I think keeping it at such a long running time, hurt the film. If they would have tightened a few things up a bit and kept the action/story flowing, it would have been a “3 star” film. They could have easily dropped a few ’20 minute segments’ of ridiculous, drawn-out dialog, dialog.

  7. Thank you for the review I can’t believe this crappy movie got such high ratings- so bad.

  8. I agree, this film does not deserve more than one star. It’s too long and just plain boring. It has too many characters and nothing ever gets explained. There’s no suspension of disbelief.
    If it was cut down to 1 hour, then maybe it would deserve two stars, for the iron man character only.

  9. I feel like you just want to be a hipster by saying you don’t like the Avengers… I mean, I may not be a professional movie critic, but seeing your review for this, I’m doubting yours too.

  10. I guess I am too easily pleased. Of course, everybody is entitled to their opinion, but it seems as though some people have forgotten that this is a movie based on a comic book. One of my favorite things about the film industry is that there is a film for every mood. Sometimes I just want popcorn with dialogue I don’t need to concentrate on. One thing I can say at the risk of sounding rude is that I feel sorry for anybody that found this film boring or dull.

  11. I totally agree with this review. The Avengers SUCKED. The actors were boring and the 3 of the characters were useless Captain America, Hawkeye (lesser version of legolas) and whats her name. Loki is the weakest Villian in history. I feel like you could have sit him down and talk him out of whatever he was doing. Also it was the same scenes different movie. It was so boring that I went to sleep, wake back up and tried to go back to sleep again but had to endure all that boring dialogue and rushed character development for another hour. I give it a 1 star to.

  12. Come On! Really, 1 star? I agree with Fred, a 1 star movie would’ve made me puke. This movie at least deserves a 3. It wasn’t NEARLY as bad as half the movies I’ve seen. Although, I understand why some people feel that there wasn’t enough character development or explanation; I guess it helps to have seen the other movies, or read the comics, or have a huge Marvel fan in the theater with you. But still, I just don’t see what makes this movie described as god-awful.

    Oh, and Crackers?
    Why don’t you judge the skill of it’s writer by some of their earlier works:
    Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Firefly.

  13. Who have you this job?lol if you didn’t like this movie then there is definitely something wrong with you I mean people like you are the reason no one reads reviews anymore movies that get 10 out of 10 new York times calls it the best movie of the summer lol and are the stupidest movie like did they not pay you and thats why you give bad review?? Or only the movies that kick something back to you get positive review

  14. Wow, mostly idiots in this room. To quote chevy chase, I think you’re all fucked in the head. I would love, just truly love to hear what this asshole’s top 5 favorite film list is and I would literally probably laugh in his face. Sad thing is its probably just all sappy oscar bullshit drama. Here’s what I say you fuck, if you can’t walk into a normal non oscar academy awards bullshit movie and take a serious look at it without sounding contrived or attacking it from a personal standpoint then you’re some high art dumbass that should not reviewing movies because not all movies have to be completely full of sappy drama bullshit. That is all, go fuck yourselves, your opinions are shit.

  15. Well I was able to enjoy the movie, but I have to agree with a lot of things said in this review. What makes this movie enjoyable for many and blinds their eyes from seeing all the bad things about the movie is just the fact that you have so many individual iconic super heroes in one movie and the epic action in the end which was mostly just CGI. As I said I somewhat enjoyed the movie, but with a better plot and acting I would have enjoyed it way more. I would probably like this movie a lot more if I had more experience from reading Marvel comics. But as I have hardly read any I had way more fun watching TDKR. Not that I would have any more experience from DC, but because it had an interesting plot, characters and so on. But I have to say this movie should still be at least 2 stars, because I’ve seen way worse movies than this get a 2 star rating.

  16. So if you dislike a (popular) movie you are now a ‘brave’ or ‘courageous’ reviewer? Huh? Get some perspective people. While I don’t agree with the reviewer I’m not angered or in awe of his ‘courage’. Was he facing a firing squad if he didn’t like the movie or something?

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